No Longer Here, but Never Forgotten

No Longer Here, but Never Forgotten

◎ Christopher Webb  中譯  詹薏靜

I met John 27 years ago when he invited me–a person he had never met and didn’t know anything about–into his home when we came into town from Iowa for the new temple grand opening in El Monte. I had learned of the Tao from Judy for some time back at school, but after we came back from the temple, John and I had a long talk about a lot of things: a talk which ended with us all going back to the temple so I could obtain the Tao that night. Our visit with John and Julie in their home, although it was a short stay–not more than a couple of days–left an impression on me that has endured to this day and I know will continue to endure for years to come.

我27年前認識John（黃東山壇主），當時我從愛荷華州到加州艾爾蒙地參加美國全真道院的開壇典禮。那時他邀請素昧平生的我前去他家作客。在這之前，我曾聽Judy （秋鶴）在學生時期談過幾次「道」；但開壇典禮之後，John與我天南地北、無所不談地聊了好久，也就是這次的長談促成了最終我與他一同回佛堂，得以在當晚求道的因緣。那次拜訪John與Julie（夫人陳純媚），雖說不過幾天光景，卻令我直至今日依然記憶猶新，我知道這段記憶將長存我心，不會消逝。

My mother taught me:  if you want to know what someone is really like, look at his children. What they are all about is the true reflection of who that person is. And those few days I spent with John’s two sons, James and Michael, taught me a lot about him that I didn’t even realize I’d learned until years later.

我母親曾教導我，如果想知道一個人真實的模樣，從他們的小孩身上即可窺知一二。小孩就如同一個人的鏡子一般，會反射出他所有實際的樣貌。但一直到多年後，我才恍然了悟，那些我與 John 的兩個兒子 James 與 Michael 相處的時光，告訴了我許多關於 John 的事。

In James I saw John’s compassion. His selfless nature. The consistency of who he was. John treated me the same way he treated everyone, and that was his gift. I used to think I was something very special. But to John, I wasn’t special at all. Not really. To John, everyone was special. That was why he treated everyone the same way.

從James身上，我看到John的慈悲心、大愛無私，以及知行合一的為人。John待我與他對待其他人的方式並無二致，這是他的天賦。我過去總是自命不凡，但對John而言，我沒那麼特別；也不盡然，而是因為每個人於John而言皆是一樣很特別，所以他才會平等對待所有人。

In Michael I saw John’s countenance. His peaceful nature. His willingness to understand even in those things that seemed to have no understanding. When I was younger, I used to think I had to talk to be understood. But John could make himself understood without saying a word.

從Michael身上，我看到John的神采、與世無爭的天性，以及樂於理解那些看似無法理解的事物。我年輕時，總認為唯有言語得以讓人信服，但John卻不需一字一句就令人心悅誠服。

And in both of his sons, I saw John’s open heart. His need to think and to analyze and evaluate, but his refusal to judge. His willingness to listen to anything you thought you needed to say, and then to ask you questions until he was sure he understood.

James與Michael從John身上共同承襲的是一顆兼容萬物的心，他喜於思辨卻不願妄下斷論，他樂意聆聽他人談天說地，並在理解透徹前打破砂鍋問到底。

And in my own children, I saw something that I didn’t really understand until I thought about it for a long time. My two daughters are both much like their father in that they really didn’t want to go out and do anything. They would much rather stay at home. But anytime we went to visit John and Julie at their flower shop, they always seemed to want to go along.

至於從我的兩個小孩身上，我看到幾經思量後終於明瞭的事。我的兩個女兒跟她們的爸爸頗相似：不愛出門，寧願待在家裡。不過每次我們要去John跟Julie的花店拜訪時，她們卻總是想一同前往。

My wife Judy and I stopped by to visit John at his flower shop the day before he passed away. We had a nice long chat and John was his usual, smiling, happy self. But if I had known that that would be the last time I would ever get to speak with him, there are so many things I would have said. But they all would have amounted to some variation of: Thank you. Thank you for all you are and all you’ve meant to me and to my family. We will miss you. We will miss you very much.

John過世的前一天，我跟我太太曾順道去了他的花店，我們聊了好長的時間，他看起來跟平時一樣快樂、滿面笑容。如果我知道那是最後一次與他聊天，我會告訴他更多事情，不過這一切都將化為各種形式的感謝：謝謝你忠於自我、謝謝你帶給我與家人的一切。我們會想你。我們將會非常地想念你。