2023珍惜生命親子夏令營㊦

2023珍惜生命親子夏令營㊦

◎ 美國忠恕道院提供

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相關連結：2023珍惜生命親子夏令營㊤

A Unique Dynamic and Valuable Way to Learn About Myself

By Luke Chiang

Coming together as a team and working towards a Heavenly mission, we put the collective ahead of the personal. As we are then exposed to both intra and inter-personal stories, this dynamic offered a unique and valuable way for me to discover myself.

An issue that I’ve been grappling with is the difference between a true and false virtue. In myself, I found that the false virtue is one which is associated with my identity. In other words, the virtues, or non-virtues which I believe to constitute who I am. This virtues/non-virtues which I associate with my identity come with stories. Sometimes they are stories from past experiences. Other times, these are virtues that come from stories that I am inspired by. These are stories I tell myself to create an identity for myself, to reassure myself not only of my existence but also my benefits to society: narcissistic justifications of an insecure self desperate to be understood and accepted by others.

In itself, I don’t believe these virtues are false. It is my insistence on asserting these virtues as though they are a part of my identity, which falsifies such virtues. When I assert myself as a virtuous person, it is but a demand to others to acknowledge the importance of my existence: a protagonist character in a way. On the other hand, with traits which I deem to be non-virtuous, I am ashamed and hide myself. These two acts/non-acts I do to express myself: to curate a self and show others a story of who I am.

These two traits: the assertion of virtuousness, and the hiding of inadequacies, are each defensive and narcissistic tendencies which reinforce dualities in my perceived self. To then ‟cultivate” and practice ‟virtuousness” in this fashion, is to embark on a path straying further away from wholeness. Rather, it makes my narcissistic self stronger which is unable to empathetically connect with others.

The acknowledgement of these narcissistic tendencies of mine, coupled with an active effort to listen to the expressions and stories of others, temporarily removed virtue/non-virtue from its association with my identity. My need for a virtuous façade is then replaced with a need to empathetically listen and collectively acknowledge the similarities in our human condition. Additionally, in those moments where the distinction between self and others is blurred, the need to hide vulnerabilities is also lessened. It is in these moments where I get a glimpse of potential wholeness: simultaneously in myself and others, for it cannot exist in just an individual.

The environment and dynamics of the summer camps allowed for me to discover this, and for that I have some acknowledgements to make. This opportunity was provided to me thanks to the Grace of Heaven, and all the predecessors. I am grateful for this opportunity to learn and experience the unique conversation between myself and the collective as we worked towards a Heavenly goal. As a practice of this gratitude, I will continue to reflect and practice these reflections. This opportunity, of course, would not be possible without the great efforts of Lee DCS and Chen DCS, as well as all the supporting staff and heavenly chefs.

了解自我  獨特的互動且有價值的方式

※江路克

大家相聚成為一個團隊，為　上天老母的使命而努力，此刻我們將集體的利益置於個人之上。當我們面對人我關係的衝擊時，這種衝擊讓我以一種獨特而有價值的方式來了解自我。

我一直在努力釐清的一個問題是真美德和假美德（善與不善、美與不美）之間的區別。在我身上，我發現虛假的美德與我的身分形相（我相）是相關的。換句話說，我認為美德或非美德建構了「我是誰」。這些與我身分相關的美德／非美德（在生命歷程中）都有其軌跡。有時它們是來自過往的經歷；其他時候，這些美德來自於我受到的啟發。這些故事是我告訴自己的，目的是為自己創造一個身分（我相），不僅確認了自己的存在，而且讓自己覺得對社會是有貢獻的：這是對不安全的自我，渴望被他人理解和接受的自戀辯護。

就我本身而言，我不覺得這些美德是錯誤的。我堅持主張這些美德，就好像它們是我形象的一部分，這就歪曲了這些美德。當我宣稱自己是一個有道德的人時，我只是要求別人承認我存在的重要性：在某種程度上是個重要角色。另一方面，當我認為自己有不道德的特質，我就會感到羞愧並隱藏自己。我所做的這兩種「行為／非行為」是為了表達自己：塑造自我並向他人敘述「我是誰」。

這兩個特徵：強調美德和隱藏缺點，都是防禦和自戀的傾向，這些都凸顯我所認知的自我的雙重特質。若如此去「修道」與行「德」，就是走上遠離「自性圓滿」的路。甚至，它使我的自戀自我變得更強大，無法與他人有同理心的聯繫。

當我承認自己這些自我的自戀傾向，再加上積極努力傾聽他人的表達和經歷，暫時消除了我對自我與美德／不美德的執著。進而，我對良善外表的需求，被同理傾聽所取代，並（同體大悲的）共同體認、肯定每個人在生命歷程上的相似性。此外，在自我和他人之間的區別變得模糊的時刻，隱藏弱點的必要性也就隨之減少。正是在這些時刻，我瞥見了潛在的完整性（圓滿真如自性）：這個真如自性，同時存在於他人和自己的身上，因為它不會僅存在於個人身上。

密西根親子夏令營的環境和活力，讓我發現了這一點，對此後學要特別致意感謝大家。感謝　天恩師德、　老慈悲！感恩上天給我這個機會學習並覺醒到個人自尊（小我）、與道場整體（大我）之間的獨特對話。作為這份感恩的展現，後學將不斷地反思和實踐這些自我的觀照心得。當然，此行的收穫，要特別感恩李寬仁點傳師和陳德修點傳師的帶動，以及所有辦事人員和天廚前賢的護持。

My Reflections on Tao Family Camp

By Taylor King (Age 23, a college student)

My experience of being a Youth Camp leader was a roller coaster. Internally I was nervous the camp was an experience that the youth hopefully won’t forget. And I wanted to present myself in a way that made everyone feel comfortable. I didn’t have any expectations but I knew that I would have to be intentional and attentive with everything that I did. Everyone pitched in and made the necessary compromise to ensure the camp went well. 

Considering we come from all over, we all blended well with one another. And it felt like we were all on the same wavelength, working on the same goal whole heartedly. My biggest takeaway was that ‟growth takes compromise” and the importance of being mindful of ‟how I treat and react to others” because you never know who is watching. Being a part of this production was worth it and I feel like I grew in patience and understanding and I am truly grateful for the experience.

親子夏令營回顧

※泰勒．金 （23歲、大學生）

此次擔任營隊志工輔導長的經歷就像坐雲霄飛車一樣。我內心感到緊張，是因為希望學員們有個難忘的營隊體驗，我想以一種讓每個人都感到自在的方式來服務大家。我沒有任何期望，但我知道我必須專注、用心地面對一切。每個人都付出了心力，並做出了必要的妥協，以確保活動能順利進行。 

來自不同文化背景的我們，能彼此融洽而配合得很好，好像我們的波長都一樣，全心全意地為同一個目標而努力。我最大的收穫是「成長是需要妥協的」，還要考量「我如何待人、如何回應」的重要性，因為你永遠不知道誰在注意著您。參與此次的活動是值得的，我覺得我的耐心和理解力都在增長，我真的很感激有這段經歷。

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